


The Key To My Heart

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, No Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-11-16
Updated: 2003-11-16
Packaged: 2018-12-26 20:47:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12066720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: My very first Brian/Justin fic. Not beta-read. On a very special day, Brian has a very special surprise for Justin. Told from Michaelâ€™s POV.





	The Key To My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

I should have known. Looking back from where I stand now, I should have known when he stood underneath that street lamp, his hair surrounding his head like a golden halo, his face as young and innocent as a baby's – we'd be standing here eventually.

 

But then – at that time – I still thought I knew Brian Kinney.

 

And actually, if I'm completely honest with myself, I felt something that night. That is - I sensed he would be trouble. I still don't know why, because Brian didn't act out of the ordinary when they met. He looked at him with that feral grin on his face, that look in his eyes I've seen on Brian a hundred times before, when he wants to attract a trick. Not that he really needs to attract guys. Or, girls for that matter.

 

They were all over him from the moment we met. And he took advantage of it in any way he could – and even though I like to bitch about it sometimes, I never really envied him. Because I saw where he came from, I saw how lonely he was, how desperately he wanted to be loved by his parents who were treating him like shit. I also saw that all his sexual encounters meant nothing to him. And that, I know now, is a really sad thing to say.

 

Of course he never showed those feelings. When we met he'd already learned to put up a tough front, never letting anyone see what was hidden behind that 'fuck-me' façade of his'. The only time all the sadness poured out of him was with me. Sometimes, when we were together in my room, stoned, drunk, or both, then the façade slipped and he was just…Brian.

 

And because I was the one – the chosen one – he did let see behind it, I thought we were special. And we were. Over the years we were thick as thieves, best friends, buddies, together through thick and thin. We shared everything. He told me about the guys, and the girls, he'd fucked, and I told him - red faced with embarrassment and also a little pride – when I’d lost my virginity. We were good for each other, even though my mom might say differently. He was like the big brother I never had. Only, I probably wouldn't have had wet dreams imagining sucking my big brother's cock. I loved him, and in his special way he loved me. 

 

Somehow, I let myself believe that this would go on forever. Made myself believe we would be fourteen for all eternity, that we would never grow up, that we would always stay the stoned boys jerking off while looking at Patrick Swayze's bare-chested picture from Dirty Dancing. And in a way we did - we became older, had jobs and became men, but we still went to clubs together, still shared everything - the good and the bad, and he still came to me when he was upset, when he couldn't deal.

 

But that was before *he* came along.

 

Brian put on that 'you-can-have-me-and-I-promise-you-heaven'-look he's perfected to an art and I could see the boy melting at his feet. What I didn't see – or realize at the time was – Brian was melting, too. Not that either of us noticed. But melting they were.

 

If you'd asked me then, I would've told you that Justin was nothing but another trick, a one-night stand. But there was also that little nagging voice inside of me ... telling me that there was something happening, something out of the ordinary.

 

"Aren't they adorable?" I snap out of my thoughts, at Lindsay’s voice. I turn to see her standing beside me, wearing a full-length dress in a shade of blue I have never seen before, Gus wriggling in her arms. As a well-developed four-year-old, he thinks he's far too grown up to be in his mother's arm.

"Hey, buddy," I say to him, but instead of his usual smile, his forehead wrinkles into a frown, so much like Brian's, it makes my heart lurch in my chest. Even though Gus is blond, even though his eyes are brown, even though he's got other features, he still looks so much like Brian you wouldn't believe it. "What's wrong, big guy?" I ask, touching his arm.

 

His frown turns into a scowl, that's suddenly directed at his mother. Lindsay scowls right back, grinning at me over his head, "Gus isn't a happy camper. He wanted to stay with Justin, but he'd just be in the way there." She looks back at her son, "I'm sure Justin will smile at you once he's up there."

 

"Hey! There you are, Sonny Boy." Brian's hands reach out and with a practiced move he scoops his son out of Lindsay's arms, whirling him around in the air, making the boy laugh. "What do I hear about you not being happy today? This is a day for all of us to be happy."

 

"But Daddy," the boy complains, "I wanted to go with Justin. Why can't I go with Justin?"

 

"Because. Justin's going to be busy and you can't go with him."

 

"But wanna," Gus protests, the scowl back in place.

 

"Well then, see that as your first lesson today. You don't always get what you want."

 

While I have been watching the exchange between father and son with a smile on my face, this last comment makes it slip right off. "And that from the guy who always got what he wanted," I scoff, shaking my head.

 

Brian stops mid-motion, holding Gus still in the air in front of him and slowly turns his head into my direction. His eyes are very serious, and also a bit sad, when he replies, "Not always, Mikey. Not always."

 

Instantly, I feel ashamed. Of all people here, I know best that his words are true. Despite all his successes with his job and with men, he had to go a long and hard way to get what he wanted most.

 

"Look! Here they come."

 

Emmett's excited shout has us all looking up to the stage, where a crowd of people appear, all dressed in red robes, chatting animatedly with each other, wearing smiles - or grins - while searching for their chairs.

 

"Sunshine looks just perfect," I hear mom say behind me, and when I turn I see her smiling warmly at the blond young man sitting in the middle between the others, right beside a handsome, dark-haired girl. "Vic would've been so proud to see him there."

 

I look at her and our eyes meet, and for a moment I see moistness welling up in hers. For a moment we think of the beloved brother and uncle who lost his fight against AIDS eight months ago. I swallow hard and unconsciously reach for Ben, who winks at me as soon as he feels my touch. He looks strong and healthy and it's hard to believe he's carrying this deadly virus inside of him, when he's standing in the sun and smiles. I force myself to smile back, force myself to put on the happy face everyone's expecting from me.

 

Someone on the stage starts to speak. A lot of nonsense about the students at PIFA, their achievement, their talent. I tune everything out, my gaze wandering to Brian, Gus now in his arms, the boy's eyes glued to the stage, on the blond-haired man sitting there in his red robe. I chuckle inwardly. Like father, like son.

 

Brian's eyes are on Justin, too, and there is a tenderness in them, I never would've believed possible. And there is pride. Pride for what Justin has achieved, his talent for one, but also for the kind of man he has become. Brian always denies that any of it was his doing, but we all know better.

 

Jennifer Taylor stands right beside Brian, her eyes on her son, but one of her hands lies on Brian's arm, the touch so natural, so easy, nobody would believe it was the same woman who once thought he was a child molester. Her ex-husband is absent, but nobody has really expected him to come. I know – because Brian told me – that Justin still had hopes, but personally I'm glad 

Craig didn't show. I'm sure none of us were too eager to watch another blow up between him and his son's lover. Molly is here, though, on her mother's free arm. She's almost a little lady now, dressed up in fancy clothes and shoes, trying to feign interest, but I have caught her yawning three times already.

 

"Justin looks almost grown, up there," I hear Mel say and she holds out her hands to take Gus from Brian. "Who would've thought."

 

"He is grown up," Brian replies, his eyes slightly narrowing. "Believe me, I know."

 

"I would," she shoots right back, a teasing grin curving her lips, "The problem is, you're still not there yourself."

 

"Oh, look, now they're starting to give out their diplomas," Lindsay, always the peacemaker, interrupts; casting worried looks at her lover and the father of her child.

 

Mel shakes her head, and she and Brian exchange a look that's lost a lot of the animosity of the past. They might never become friends, but they have managed to find common ground now, and I wonder how much Justin has to do with it. Or with the influence he has on Brian.

 

I sigh, then turn my head back on the stage, just in time to see Justin receiving his diploma from an important looking man who smiles warmly at the blonde. "Congratulations, Mr. Taylor," he says and they shake hands. Justin grins at him then suddenly winks in our direction before reclaiming his seat on the stage.

 

Quickly I glance at Brian, and can hardly believe it when I see moistness in his eyes. The very same moment he catches me looking at him, and instantly blinks, an embarrassed frown on his forehead, when I suddenly see Jennifer tug on his arm. "Oh, isn't he just wonderful up there," she breathes, tears running down her cheeks, but she smiles through them, tightening her arm around her daughter, pulling her close. "One day you'll be up there."

 

"But I'm not going to wear such a stupid red robe," Molly says with the certainty only the young possess. "It looks…ridiculous. Especially on a boy."

 

We all chuckle at that, and Jennifer laughs, carefully dabbing her face with a hanky Brian has given her. "Thanks," she smiles at him gratefully. "I still have a hard time to believe that he's come that far. I'm so proud of him."

 

"You should tell him that," Brian replies, his voice so rough with emotion, it makes me shiver. "But then," he suddenly grins, "on second thought, maybe not. He's confident enough the way it is. We don't want him bouncing off the walls."

 

"Sunshine had some hard times to get through, he can use all the encouragement he can get," Mom says, wiping her own face. "And don't even try to convince us that you aren't bursting with pride, kiddo." She nudges Brian from behind, and he gives an embarrassed chuckle.

 

With fascination I watch their exchange, once again stunned how much he has changed these past few years. There are still times when it seems nothing can faze him, but he's come a long way from the emotional zombie he used to be. He can even talk about his old man these days, without shutting down completely. And he even talks to his mother occasionally, though it’s not always civil, but nevertheless, he is trying. She might never completely accept that her son isn't what she wished for, but somehow Brian seems okay with it.

 

And maybe that's the reason I finally managed to get over all that hidden animosity I still felt towards Justin, who now comes bouncing down the stairs, his diploma - complete with a red ribbon around it - in his hand, that wide grin on his face that caused my mom to call him Sunshine. "Hey, did you watch me up there?" he asks this completely unnecessary question. "I was totally cool."

 

"Cool?" Brian looks at him with a raised brow, "You were gloating. Almost embarrassingly so."

 

"Oh, shut up," Justin shoots back, grin never wavering, "I still can't believe it's finally over and done."

 

"What do you mean done," Ted - who has been a quiet observer so far, nudges him slightly, "You're just beginning. Now you're going to pain, and nobody will buy what you do, and you'll be a starving artist…"

 

"…Nah," Justin interrupts him, handing the roll of paper in his hand to his mother, then pulling the red robe over his head, breathing a sigh of relief at having gotten rid of the warm fabric. The day is sunny and hot and it must have been uncomfortable wearing it. He grins at Brian, mischief in his eyes, “Fortunately I'm living with a man who is very comfortable."

 

"Comfortable, huh?" Brian says, but he is grinning too. "We'll see."

 

"Yeah," Justin laughs, "We will. So," he looks around, "Now that I'm officially released from PIFA, what are we going to do. How about a celebration?"

 

"Celebration?" Jennifer looks at him blankly, "Do you mean you planned something."

 

For a moment Justin's face falls, but then the grin is back in place, "Oh, you almost got me there," he says, "But I'm not buying it. So what are we going to do?"

 

"How about you start going over job offers?" Brian proposes, a certain look in his eyes making it hard for me not to laugh.

 

"Huh?" Justin stares at him, before shaking his head, "I already told you, you can try, but I'm not buying it. So what's going to happen now?"

 

Finally Lindsay gives in, "Alright, Justin. We did…kind of…prepare something, in our house. So, why don't we just go there and..." she trails off, when she notices Brian slipping something into Justin's hand, then whispering in the young man's ear before casually slandering towards the parking space. I see Justin's face go pale, and he swallows, staring at Brian's retreating back, before he murmurs, "Holy Shit!"

 

"Justin Taylor," Jennifer admonishes, but I can sense she's not really serious.

"Oh Wow," the blond breathes in awe, staring at the object in his hand, then once again at Brian who is obviously waiting for him now. Finally getting his bearings, Justin looks at each of us, "Uh ... ah ... we ... I mean ... we're going to see each other at Linds' and Mel's house. Alright?" Not waiting for our answer he suddenly lets out a whoop, then sprints over the lawn towards the parking space, and not caring for anyone and anything, jumps right into Brian's waiting arms, their loud joyous laughter sounding through the hot summer air.

 

My curiosity finally getting the best of me, I step beside Jennifer, "What was that all about?"

 

"That," she looks at me, blinking hard, obviously determined to keep her tears at bay this time, "Was the start of the rest of their lives - I hope."

 

"Huh?" Still at loss, I look at Linds, the one person who always knows what's going on with Brian.

 

She smiles, "He gave Justin a very special present."

 

"A…" I gulp, still at a loss, "…Present?"

 

Lindsay sees the others staring at her too - well everyone except Jennifer, who seems to be part of the scheme. Linds and Jennifer…it figures. Even though I feel a little miffed that I was left out, I know that it's only natural Brian would clue them in.

 

Finally it's Jennifer who once again, dry-eyed and smiling, tells us, "He gave Justin a golden key." When she sees we're still not getting it, she explains it, "Not just some key. There is an inscription saying, 'that's the key to my heart.'"

 

Sighs come from the mouths of Emmett, Melanie and my Mom, while Ted smiles slightly, holding the hand of his current partner in life.

 

I find myself looking back at the parking space where Brian and Justin have their arms around each other, kissing deeply, whispering to each other, the happiness almost humming around them. I feel Ben's arm coming around my shoulders, reminding me of my own. When I look at him, he smiles, "I love you," he whispers, kissing me lightly on the cheek.

 

"I love you, too," I reply, my eyes back on the couple that is now climbing into Brian's jeep, grinning at each other.

 

And while I might have been jealous a few years ago, I find myself grinning, too. I know I'm going to grill Brian mercilessly about this ridiculously romantic present. And I know he's going to tell me.

 

And I suddenly feel that being someone's best friend can be a good thing, too.


End file.
